its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
