how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
