one two three fourrrrnication!
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
i barfeds in our rink
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
