I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
