everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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