i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Randomize
