i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Randomize
