Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
