first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
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