I can tuck mytits in my pants
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize
