oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
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