her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Randomize
