Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
