Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Randomize
