winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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