remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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