he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
