And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Randomize
