I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
