i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Randomize
