we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Everything about him screamed your future.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Randomize
