yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
