I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Randomize
