You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
