Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
