remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Randomize
