I need help removing her.
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Randomize
