we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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