Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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