I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
We have started to decorate penises.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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