what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Randomize
