I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Randomize
