no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Randomize
