nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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