I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Randomize
