lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
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