I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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