I hate all girls vehemently.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
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