I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
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