Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
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