He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
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