When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
