Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
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