The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
operation harelip BJ is a go
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Randomize