All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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