All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
I'm really busy with my period
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