I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
