Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Randomize
