yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
