My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
