you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Randomize
