She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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