i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
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